Thursday, June 9, 2011

Jordan Tyler Ellis

I'm a pretty lucky gal. I have a wonderful husband, a sweet baby, and I have the opportunity to help raise this cutie patootie...









This is my adorable step-son Jordan.

I remember the first time I ever saw him. I was a waitress at Chili's where Darrell was my manager. Jordan would come visit his Daddy at work. I got a glimpse of how sweet their relationship was right from the beginning. Jordan adored his Daddy, and my heart melted. When Darrell and I began discussing the idea of a relationship I knew that I would not only be dating him, but I'd be committing to a family. This was one of the easiest decisions of my life. Jordan made it easy.

The first day Jordan told me he loved me is a moment I will never forget. See, he didn't have to love me. He already had a Momma. A good one. He didn't have to let me into his heart. But he did anyways. He was exposed to a new kind of a love from me. I loved his laugh, I loved his energy, I loved how every time I looked at him I saw such great innocense. He was a product of my husband and I adored him from the moment I met him.

I  mean look at him here. This is a face to love. I was captured, not only by the love I had for Darrell, but the love I had for Jordan.







Now, here's some honesty.

Life has not always been peaches and cream. Becoming a step parent is hard. It is really hard to have to share your husband from the get go. It was also hard for me to know that for the rest of our married life, Darrell would still be connected to Jordan's Mom. Something, I have not dealt with, with as much grace as I probably should have. I will continue to learn. I will not however, stop loving this sweet child. He deserves SO much love and guidance from whoever is willing to give it to him. He deserves the world.

Just as I would pray for Jace, I pray for Jordan. I love them both. I am learning how to balance. I am learning how to show Jordan exactly how I feel for him. I am learning how to relate to a 7 year old. It is a constant battle. What is appropriate or not? I will have to learn.

I am willing to learn.

I am willing to humble myself and become the best dang, step mommy I can be.

I am looking forward to being a part of his story. I am hoping that he feels like I deserve to be a part of his story.

I am hoping that he loves me today, the same way he did years ago.

Jordan, this is my love letter to you. I love your smile, I love how much you love your Daddy, I love how caring you are, I love how helpful you are, and I love how you adore your baby brother. Thank you for being a gift to my life. For reminding me to be silly, and to enjoy things. Thank you for gooey smores, and violent video games. Thank you for being mature beyond your years in understanding that adults make stupid mistakes, and kids get caught in the middle. Thank you for not allowing yourself to get caught in the middle. You care for us even when we don't deseve it.

Mallie loves you.

More than you'll ever know.

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